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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30146424">Close to You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Srikandish/pseuds/Srikandish'>Srikandish</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, 進撃の巨人 | Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alpha Erwin Smith, Commander Erwin Smith, F/M, Manipulative Erwin Smith, POV First Person, erwin smith x reader - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:40:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,697</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30146424</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Srikandish/pseuds/Srikandish</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You like him, so why don't you make the first move?!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Erwin Smith &amp; Reader, Erwin Smith/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Conversation in the Corridor</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Historia crowned as Queen. Finally, there’s a brief period of stability. We all can take a breather. Maybe this is the time I should confess my feeling towards Commander Erwin Smith.</p><p>It’s hard to know what is on his mind. He is an enigma. His decisions often carry huge risks, but it does bring progress. Still, I only know him from the surface. A menacing build with strong arms, silky blond hair and striking blue eyes. He is clearly an alpha, you can feel it. When he is around, you can’t help to lower yourself and trust your life in his hand.</p><p>He lost his arm in the battle but he didn’t look like he bothers much. For me, that’s when the feeling hit. He saves Eren without an arm. He’s the strongest leader I knew.  It started out as an innocent crush, but it grew fast and starting to get in the way of a lot of things. We could be dead tomorrow as far as I know, why should I wait? I want him to know tonight. All those sleepless nights are too much to handle. His eyes and his thundering voice came too often in my daydream, way too much to be considered healthy.</p><p>My heart raced. I put my best effort to look presentable in my uniform. I tell to myself, I will just let him know, and leave it at that. I didn’t expect anything. I just want him to know. This feeling is pressing to be acknowledged. Maybe after that, I could move on to other guys, not someone so out of my league, so handsome.. so…</p><p>“Y/N? You need to speak to me?” He caught me off guard.</p><p>I look at him and Captain Levi, apparently they are in the some sort of conversation in the corridor.</p><p>“Yes, Commander”</p><p>“You can speak to me now, Levi is fine. We’re just chatting.”<br/>
I froze.</p><p>Levi raised his eyebrow.</p><p>You know, Erwin is very perceptive. He looks at me, looks at Levi, and says,<br/>
“Levi, if you don’t have anything to add, I’ll see you tomorrow.”</p><p>Levi raised his eyebrow for a second and back to his indifferent expression.</p><p>“Goodluck, Y/N,” and he sails away.</p><p>He waited until Levi is in a safe distance, and look at me, tried to guess. Oh my god, he knows, I will die of embarrassment before I even say one word, the voice in my head crying. I can feel the warmth in my cheeks.</p><p>“Y/N, are you ok?”<br/>
I’m obviously not.</p><p>“I’m sorry commander, I forgot what I want to say.. No! I mean, I just want to say… I think you are cool, how you save Eren, and I’m.. I’m sorry about your injury… But I think you’re the coolest person on earth…”</p><p>My voice shaky as hell. My cheek and ear BLUSHED. I’m sure I’m as red as fire now.<br/>
He blinked. Did he know?</p><p>“Thanks, Y/N, I appreciate it.”</p><p>“Commander, permission to leave,”</p><p>That piercing blue eyes analyzing, I can’t look at them for too long.</p><p>“Y/N, can I ask for a favor? I need some help with small things.”</p><p>“Of course, Commander.”</p><p>“Come with me,”</p><p>That big tall alpha leads the way. I trailed behind, trying hard to breathe.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. It's Human to Desire Someone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I hope you don’t mind I’m bothering you like this. It took me so long to mend these clothes, I find it very hard after this,” He touched his other shoulder, signalling his lost arm.</p><p>“No, Commander, it’s totally fine. It’s at least what I can do. I’m grateful that I can help you. After what you going through…”</p><p>I sat on the small chair; in the humble room that belongs to Erwin. I’m helping him mending a stack of his clothes.</p><p>With a deep sigh, he sat on the other chair and start unbuttoning his shirt.</p><p>“Excuse me, Y/N. Could you help me with this as well?”</p><p>He passes me some wound dressing and antiseptic liquid in a bottle.</p><p>My heart skips a beat. His muscular torso is in full display. But he didn’t look awkward at all, honestly he looks like he tries to withstand pain. I unwrapped his wound dressing carefully.  His warm skin sending electricity to my small fingers.</p><p>“Looks like it’s healing well, Commander,”</p><p>I try to be upbeat about it. This man got his whole arm bitten off. I guess it still hurt like hell.</p><p>“I guess, that’s why it hurt,” He bitterly smile.</p><p>“Erwin is fine, Y/N, no need to be so formal all the time.”</p><p>I dab on the antiseptic, try to clean the spider-web stitches. He didn’t wince, didn’t move. He’s tired, I can tell. To be the commander of the Scout is never easy. It consumes him, physically and mentally.</p><p>“It’s done, Commander. I mean, Erwin,” wish that I could kiss his pain away.</p><p>He proceeds to pour two glass of bourbon, I reach out my hand to receive it.</p><p>”Y/N, you’ve come this far. You should do what you mean to do. I got a feeling that there’s something else that you want to say,” He shoots.</p><p>“Oh, Erwin... You knew?” I cover my face with both of my hand. Now it’s too obvious.</p><p>“Well, I have a guess. But I can’t be certain,” This point his eyes questioning mine, pressing.</p><p>“What gives it away?” I peek through my fingers.</p><p>He let go a small chuckle.<br/>
“You’re not really the type can keep your emotions discreet,”</p><p>“What do you mean, I never stare at you,” I’m horrified, does everybody know my secret obsession with Commander Erwin?</p><p>“Yeah, try to tell it to yourself,” his eyes lighten. He finished the drink in one gulp. “So?”</p><p>I’m cornered.<br/>
“I’m sorry, Commander. The truth is, I really like you all this time. I mustered enough courage to walk here, but when I see you, I’m just too shy,”</p><p>“I see,” his reply is not what I expected. He is as poised as ever. As if he knew what is coming, always.</p><p>“No need to be shy. It’s human to desire someone,”</p><p>His words startled me. I look up to find his expression, calculating. He is finding the right words to say this:</p><p>“My question is, Y/N, what are your expectations?”</p><p>“Oh No, Commander, trust me, I don’t expect anything from you. I-I.. happy enough to be able to support you. I know probably you get this kind of confessions a lot. You are the Commander of the Survey Corps, the face of the Scouts…”</p><p>“If anything is possible, what is that you’re after?” He cut to the chase. Sharp, firm but gentle.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. First Time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Obviously, he is prepared. It happens to him more than once. That’s why he tries to dig deeper, sifting and choosing carefully. Will she fit the bill? He is a man after all. After those long days of battles, sleepless nights, giving himself to his huge responsibility, he would need someone to unwind. Preferably something casual, mutual. It could be ethical, it could be okay, who knows? He thinks it worth the risk.</p>
<p>“I.. I don’t know. I never thought of that. All I know is… I saw you, Commander, your arms... I saw it in front of my eyes when it happens... I was behind you. But you defied the odds, I can see you again here now, living, breathing...I just...”</p>
<p>All of the feelings that she tries to buried surfaced, burning. Her tears streaming.<br/>
He looks at her with gentleness that she never seen before.</p>
<p>“Please continue to live, Commander. I’ll fight with you, I’ll fight for you. I- I really really like you and I don’t want you to die, childish as it sounds,”</p>
<p>This point she let go an ugly cry. He pulls her in to his broad, sturdy chest.</p>
<p>“Thank you, Y/N,”</p>
<p>He smells so good, so warm. She can feel his finger in her shoulder, embracing. Slowly she put her hand in his hip, taking him closer. Her lips grazed his shoulder, inhaling his musky scent. His only hand travels to her back, gently stroking.</p>
<p>She wipe the tears and lay an innocent kiss to his cheek.<br/>
He rushed for her lips. They kissed passionately for a while.</p>
<p>Then he stops.<br/>
“Listen Y/N, I don’t want to lead you on. If we about to start something, I can’t promised you anything, not in this war time. I don’t know what I can offer...”</p>
<p>But his eyes pleading, his hands travel to her chest, stomach and thighs.<br/>
“I’ll take whatever you can offer, Erwin,”</p>
<p>Something inside him twitches. It’s an offer not many man can resist. She is mature; she knows what she was asking. Grounded, realistic and sincere. Drunk in adoration, her petite figure and kissable lips. She is perfect. His breath hitches. But he wants to be slow and careful.</p>
<p>She ignite a fire in his eyes. It’s amazing to see things that you though wouldn’t happen. She ran both of her hands on his face, pulling him for another kiss. She took of her jacket and unbutton her shirt. His eyes widen on the sight. It’s been too long since he feels this way. Naturally, he went to the door to lock it. He guides her to the bed and start undoing his shirt.</p>
<p>He looks so fine, his wound made the girl's heart trembling. Nervous, she scrambled to undo her tight pants and belts under his menacing eyes.</p>
<p>“I notice you, stealing glances at me. You’re pretty.” He kisses her neck.</p>
<p>He undone her slowly, layer by layer, stripping her self-control. He treats her as if this is her first time, you can’t be too careful. He is slow and passionate, like he is intent to. He whispers sweet praises and soothing words in her ears. When he enters her, he learns what she likes, hitting the right spot and let her peak before he takes care of everything else. When the times come for him to reach his sweet release, he’s done so with an intense grunt, hot and sweaty. </p>
<p>She fall asleep right after. But he is awake, wondering.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Kudos will be appreciated! :*</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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